Coping with Depression in Caregivers

Caregivers spend an average of more than 12 hours a day caring for their loved ones who may have chronic medical conditions. While that time can be deeply rewarding, it can also leave you vulnerable. It is not surprising that so many caregivers get depressed.

As a caregiver, you are in a uniquely difficult position. More often than not, the sympathy and concern of friends and healthcare providers is focused on the care recipient. Little or no attention is paid to how you may be affected by the very upsetting changes that have occurred in your life. You become progressively caught up in the web of an illness not your own, and as time goes on, caregiver depression may set in if you begin to feel hopeless, isolated, unappreciated and resentful at the perceived lack of support from other family members and friends, as well as the community. These feelings, coupled with the knowledge that your caregiving duties might well last a lifetime, set you up as a prime target for mood disorder. On top of all these, ¾ of caregivers have a day job and have to juggle the demands of both roles. When your caregiving duties get in the way of your job performances or put you into debt, that stress can eventually lead to depression.

But of course, not all caregivers get depressed. Depression is a nature-nurture phenomenon; it is a matter of genetic predisposition and environmental factors interacting to produce the depressive changes. As arduous as family caregiving can be, if you become depressed it is more than likely that you have a genetic vulnerability to developing depression. The burnout and stress associated with caregiving, in conjunction with your innate tendency to become depressed, can result in the development of major depression. Everyone has negative thoughts and feelings that come and go over time, but when these feelings become more intense and leave you drained of energy, tearful or irritable towards your loved ones, it may well be a warning sign of depression. Concerns about depression arise when the emptiness or crying don’t go away or when these feelings are unrelenting.

Unfortunately, feelings of depression are often seen as a sign of weakness rather than a sign that something is out of balance. Comments from others such as “snap out of it”, or “it’s all in your head” are not helpful and reflect a belief that such mental health concerns are not real. Ignoring or denying your feelings will not make them go away. So, the very first step to coping with depression is to admit there is a problem and realize you need help, then reach out to get it.

Reach Out and Stay Connected

Getting support plays an essential role in overcoming depression. On your own, it can be difficult to maintain a healthy perspective and sustain the effort required to beat depression. At the same time, the very nature of depression makes it very difficult to reach out for help. When you are depressed, the tendency is to withdraw and isolate so much so that connecting to even close family members or friends can be tough. You may feel too exhausted to talk, ashamed of your circumstances or guilty for feeling as such. But this is just the depression talking. Reaching out is not a sign of weakness and it does not mean you are a burden to others. Look for support from people who make you feel safe and cared for. The person you talk to doesn’t have to be able to fix you; they just need to be a good listener – someone who will listen to you attentively and compassionately without judging you. Phone calls, social media and texting are great ways to stay in touch, but they cannot replace the good old-fashioned way of in-person quality time. The simple act of talking to a person face to face about how you feel can play a big role in relieving depression and keeping it away. And if you don’t feel that you have anyone to turn to, it’s never too late to make new friendships and improve your support network. Join a caregiver support group to expand your network. It will help with feelings of isolation when you find people who have gone through or are going through the same struggles as you. Most importantly, you will find out that you are not all alone in this caregiving journey. You would not only be able to get help – pick up tips from the experiences of people who have walked in your shoes, but also be able to help others. Research has shown that you get an even bigger mood boost from providing support to others. You may find such support groups within the hospitals, in your community and even online.

Do Things that Make you Feel Good

In order to overcome depression, you need to do things that relax and energize you. While you can’t force yourself to have fun or experience pleasure, you can push yourself to do things, even when you don’t feel like it. You might be surprised at how much better you feel once you are out in the world. Pick up a former hobby or a sport you used to like. Express yourself creatively through music, art or writing. Go out with friends. Take a day trip to the museum, the park or simply just go window shopping.

Get enough rest when possible. Depression typically involves sleep problems; whether you are sleeping too little or too much, your mood suffers.

Keep stress in check. Not only does stress prolong and worsen depression, it can also trigger it. Figure out all the things in your life and in your caregiving duties that stress you out and find ways to relieve the pressure and regain control. Practice relaxation techniques. Try yoga, deep breathing or meditation. They can help relieve symptoms of depression, reduce stress and boost feelings of joy and well-being.

Get Moving

When you are depressed, just getting out of bed can seem like a daunting task, let alone working out! But exercising is a powerful depression fighter. Exercise releases endorphins that help relieve stress and anxiety. 30 minutes of exercise per day will reap the most benefit but it’s okay to start small; a 10-minute walk can already improve your mood for 2 hours. Your energy level will also improve with regular exercise.

Eat A Healthy Diet

What you eat has a direct impact on how you feel. Try not to skip meals and have a well-balanced diet regularly. Reduce intake of food that can adversely affect your brain and mood, such as caffeine, alcohol and trans-fat. You may also crave comfort food like sugary snacks or fast processed food, but these “feel-good” food will quickly lead to a crash in mood and energy so aim to cut them out as much as possible. Deficiencies in Vitamin B such as folic acid and B-12 can trigger depression. To get more, eat more citrus fruits, leafy greens, beans, chicken and eggs. Omega-3 fatty acids play an essential role in stabilizing mood. The best sources are salmon, mackerel, anchovies, sardines and tuna etc.

Get A Daily Dose of Sunlight

Sunlight can help boost serotonin levels and improve your mood. As much as you can, expose yourself to at least 15 minutes of the sun a day. It would also help to increase the amount of natural light in your home by drawing up your blinds and curtains and making your home bright and cheery.

Respite Time

Respite time gives you a break from your caregiving responsibilities. It can help you relieve stress. Having this respite time from your caregiving role is not a luxury but a necessity. You need to take occasional breaks so that you can refuel yourself for the longer road ahead. Ask for and accept help from as many places as possible. Depending on your care recipient’s care needs, you can arrange for a family member or friend to stay with your care recipient for a few hours while you have your break, or you could consider taking your care recipient to a day care centre or hire home care helpers to help you care for your care recipient for a few hours per week or per month.

Get Professional Help

If you have taken self-help steps and made positive changes to your lifestyle and still find depression getting worse, seek professional help. Depression is curable; the most important step is to seek help timely. This will go a long way in helping yourself and also your care recipient especially if you are his/her primary or only caregiver.

Source: PRIME Dec 18-Jan 19 Issue

Article re-posted with permission from Prime Magazine Singapore